Stations of the Cross XII: Mary, the mother of Christ

Meanwhile, standing near the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing beside her, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, here is your son.’ Then he said to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ And from that hour the disciple took her into his own home.

John 19:25-27 (NRSV)

12. Mary, the mother of Christ

today--
i know, this day
will be remembered
for Your divine purpose
(that i cannot begin to understand)
i know, others question
their God
our God,
You

but today--
i'm sorry, today--
i can only see You as my child.

forgive my human weakness,
my child.
at least you're used to it.

i have lived in the tension
of child and God and
sometimes i'm almost used to it
like that wedding
where i got You to change the water to wine--
an almost ridiculous miracle-favor

it seems to useless now
and i want to believe
i cannot see You as God right now
because if You were God
changing water into wine
why would You not save Yourself

but that's not it at all.

it's that
i love You
i love You
i love You
i love You
i love You
i love You
i love You
and every cell in my body is screaming
and i would run
and attack every guard who laid a hand on You
and give my life trying to save Yours
if it meant
i didn't have to watch
You
die.

but it's too late for that.
and i wonder
if i would have said yes
those years ago
if i knew
this was where it ended.

who am i kidding?

of course i would.

i could not give up
the joy
of knowing
and loving
You.

--

God, our Delight, Your presence in our lives is a gift we can barely even comprehend.  Help us to see the ways You show up.  Help us to recognize the joy of knowing and loving You, that we might share that love with everyone we meet.  Amen.

--

Slats (they/them/theirs) is a queer/trans/nonbinary Presbyterian (PCUSA). They hold a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Drama and a Master of Divinity and they deeply love liturgy and hymnody.  They write, preach, teach and often work as a director and sound designer for live theater.  They are currently in the ordination process, and spend much of their time working toward claiming queer/trans space in Christianity.

Slats' website is https://www.slatsite.com and their book, Queering Lent, can be found at http://a.co/4nAGn29.