A 5-Step Plan of Care if You've Been Outed
Like many LGBTQ+ students across the country getting ready to graduate from middle school, high school, or college and move to your next educational pursuit or start your careers, you will have to navigate how to carry yourself in your new environments. You may find yourself making guesses on how safe it is to come out and who to trust in new social and religious circles.
Today we’re highlighting an excerpt from our LGBTQ+ College Student Guide, featuring Lorae V. Bonamy. This seminal resource serves as a guide for young adults navigating the next step of academic journeys, both in affirming and non-affirming environments. Excerpted from the chapter entitled Navigating Tough Conversations, we want to equip you with an emergency plan of care when you find yourself in uncomfortable situations.
As LGBTQ+ people, we often have to come out again and again in different spaces, because we are sometimes situated in both safe and affirming spaces and unsafe and violent spaces. Creating a plan to follow if you are accidentally or intentionally outed can help to reduce your anxiety and bring you peace. Consider this simple emergency plan, built on a five-step framework created by Minus18 below.
“You are worthy and deserving of deep, mutually-beneficial relationships.”
Come out (again).
Using a social media status or quick comment or text message, you can show confidence (even if it is not 100% comfortable) in your identity. This shows people that you are not ashamed.
Talk to the people who matter.
Talk to the close people in your life about what your identity means to you, and what your relationship with them means to you. This is a chance to get clarity and support or begin practicing boundaries. Do not defend yourself to those who are not close to you.
Keep active.
Just like self-care is important to uproot shame, it is especially important to prioritize your holistic health when experiencing being outed.
Make new friends or networks.
Understanding that we are created for relationships and community, leaning on people for support is crucial. If the people around you are not supportive, find friends and networks who will be. Consider joining one of Q Christian Fellowship’s Community Groups which center radical belonging for LGBTQ+ people.
Recognize if things get too hard and seek help.
Remember, you do not have to go through this alone. Reach out to the counseling center (if they have known and trusted affirming practitioners) or affirming community mental health professionals if you are at a non-affirming school. There are people whose jobs are to help you get through tough times; make sure you connect with them.
https://www.minus18.org.au/articles/what-to-do-if-you%E2%80%99ve-been-outed-before-you%E2%80%99re-ready
Next Steps
For more on how to navigate college as a LGBTQ+ person, download our free LGBTQ+ College Student Guide, featuring Lorae V. Bonamy.
If you’re the parent or family member of an LGBTQ+ person going to college soon, we have community and resources available for you! Visit the link below to learn more and get plugged in.
